Being angry, ranting about a subject or being concerned about something isn't a problem by itself. It becomes one when the actual belief fueling those emotions and behaviors isn't correct, accurate, or helpful and ultimately doesn't meet our needs. All of us fall into irrational thinking at times, but it's those all consuming beliefs that lead to behaviors that divide and harm rather then help, which need to be re-evaluated. The end result of a faulty belief is an unmet need which often translates into a pattern of negative feelings and negative behaviors.
We all have the need to live, to love and be loved, as well as feel important and have variety in our life. Our belief window determines our actions and our actions demonstrate our attempt to meet these needs. Addictive behaviors are usually a sign of an unmet need. We focus on one behavior to relieve whatever it is that ails us. When a need is not being met we often spend tremendous amounts of energy trying to meet that need. If this is true, we can be sure our belief window is askew.
Thinking "I'm stupid", "I'm unlovable", "I'm ugly", "when people get to know me they will reject me", or "if you want something done right you have to do it yourself" are examples that often result from unmet needs. The behavior resulting from those principles or beliefs will not change unless the belief window is changed.
It's always been true that behavior speaks louder than words. If what you say doesn't line up with what you do, then it's very likely you have a negative principle, conviction, or value operating in your belief window. Growth is change and change occurs when we adjust our thinking so that what we "believe" and what we "do" line up to achieve inner peace.
By Bill Jeffreys
No comments:
Post a Comment