Someone I am getting to know, mentioned the idea of a soul mate. I have heard this term before and thought about it's implied meaning. Sometimes people think there is just one person out there whom they can bond with. Someone who is meant for just them. Someone who was destined to be their completion, or their souls only real bond to another, hence the idea of a soul mate..
When I was a xtian I thought god put my wife and I together, she was kind of a soul mate to me. It was an utter failure. If by soul mate, one means a person who shares your values, has similar feelings about life stuff and connects with you on many levels, I agree. I think there are soul mates out there who make us feel good about knowing them and spending our precious life and time with them.
I remember a movie about a photographer who was married, but through a number of circumstances he met another woman in a small town he was photographing. They ended up becoming, what I have described in my second paragraph. He felt as if he had found his soul mate. They were so utterly in sync that they felt as if they were meant to be together. It was a unique relationship and one not many people approved of, because he never left his wife, but one I think many people can understand, even if they don't agree, and more importantly, people can feel how powerful that kind of love is.
There are people whom we connect with, who make us feel special and accepted. People who feel similar to us and who share common values, and as a result of knowing them we find ourselves happy when they are near.
In my opinion, your soul mate can be anyone even a close friend. Maybe even your dog. :)
Sincerely,
Bill
I also believe soul mates exist and they can be more than one if you're lucky, but there are degrees of intensity of the connection: some people can connect more than others; also different types of connection: there are things that go well and things that may not with any given pair; and its time dependent: once you got along great but circumstances and inevitable individual changes made you loose that connection. It happens and its all a part of life. But, when making life choices like marriage where you promise to give a person trust and your very best, I think it is your utmost duty to respect that agreement, be it your soul mate or not. Some people live never finding a soul mate, some people can find a soul mate and then loose it. Therefore, a person can live without a soul mate and learn to be happy with that. In fact I consider living without a soul mate a sort of challenge into finding happiness without needing that special spiritual support. Furthermore, sometimes couples learn to become in sync with each other after some time and end up becoming soul mates after all (this is also part of the time dependent nature of 'soulmateness') but that requires a lot of effort on both parts to try their best even when the going gets tough. In the case of the photographer it might be better and even more rewarding to stay true to his first promise and try to guide himself toward his wife, rather than taking the easy way into that spiritual connection with that someone he found who bonded with him immediately. Whats to say? he might have gotten more intensity with his first choice later in life if he had given up the second. Its hard to pinpoint aspects of our life that have a spiritual nature, but I believe wholeheartedly that all people have a special spiritual nature to them and its our duty to try and find that, and, once you do, adjust yourself accordingly. That requires a lot of openness and willingness to bend when necessary. With most people you don't find it initially but it can be developed overtime and with the most intent to do so, it is imminent that the other person be open and intend to do the same. And that's where it gets real difficult.
ReplyDeleteWe are not raised to consider other people very well, I think the more open and flexible we become about us and the rest of the people around us the more likely we are to connect with others.